Happy Valentine’s Day! Today I’m working with a bunch of other bloggers in an attempt to improve website traffic to my little part of the internet. Gigi at Kludgy Mom is running a fun linkup from February 14 – 28 called Whole Lotta Love where bloggers are resurrecting posts that received little or no action from readers. I pulled a gem from last Spring. At the time, I was hosting a weight loss challenge on my blog. I had this idea that I would actually get motivated to lose 25 pounds if I was competing for a prize. It ended up being a colossal fail – for me, personally – but not for the winner who ended up losing something like 30 pounds. I learned a lot about myself and my habits during that challenge and I’m sharing with you today when it all became crystal clear: I seek comfort through eating.
It started Sunday night when I treated myself to a cookie, or two, with the promise that Monday I would be back on track especially because Tuesday morning was weigh-in day. That kind of late night weakness is usually where every other diet has gone to shit. And that damn promise to myself. I promise I’ll be good tomorrow. I promise I’ll work out harder tomorrow. Does anyone else make these promises?
Yesterday started out like any other Monday morning. But, I was off. Instead of kicking the day off with a smoothie or something that would give me some lasting energy, I opted for a bagel and coffee. First bad choice. I was rushing to get out of the house and trying to corral the 4 year old who always seems to have other plans and wants to battle at the most inappropriate times. The vet appointment we had turned into a two hour shit storm. I was stressed out and livid at the news from the vet (but that’s an entirely different post), irritated that my kid wasn’t cooperating during the appointment, and bothered that the doctor seemed annoyed that I had my child in tow. Deep breaths. On the drive home I secretly wanted my girl to say she wanted Chik Fil A for lunch because I was ready to ditch my “no drive-thru edict” for a crispy chicken sandwich.
And then it hit me…when my life feels out of control I seek comfort through eating. Truth be told, I’ve kind of known this about myself for a long time. But it was crystal clear today.
Did this realization stop me from pigging out when we finally got home? No. I should have just made myself lunch but I ripped open a package of cookies, a chocolate bar, tortilla chips, a Twinkie, and a shit ton of almonds (which are supposed to be reserved for my healthy snacks). All that junk made me feel like crap. And I was still reeling from the vet appointment. I didn’t know what to do with myself or how to manage my emotions. It was such a bizarre day. To top it off, I was feeling extremely guilty which left me in a funk all night.
Do you ever have days like this? How do you manage?